What’s new and what’s coming…

I have been absolutely absentee since going back to work! I’m so sorry! Finding time to write when it isn’t automatically carved out for you is a lot harder than I expected. So here’s what’s coming with that. I finally got my permanent schedule for work and I should always have Thursdays off by myself. So you know what that makes Thursdays right? Blog day!

Last time I mentioned that Blue (our computer) had one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel. Well, he bit the big one. Given how much I write though we decided a computer was a necessary expenditure. So we got a new laptop! Yay! I’m still getting used to the keyboard bu it’s so nice to have a computer that actually works the way it’s supposed to!

And lastly, we did a thing this weekend! We had been very bummed out about having to cancel our wedding and reception due to Covid-19. Of course that wasn’t going to stop us but it was sad to watch months worth of planning go down the drain with no more finesse than dirty bath water. So this weekend we were able to get the stars to align; my parents were off quarantine and our pastor was available so we decided to just do it and on Sunday we got married!

My parent’s (especially my mom) went above and beyond and created the most amazingly beautiful set up for us to get married. They decorated the house, mom made us a lovely meal and a delicious cheesecake, and even put together a bouquet and boutonnieres. It was the smallest wedding imaginable, with only my parents, the pastor, and of course Manny and I. But you know what? It was extremely special and we’ll never forget it, that’s for sure.

With that, I’ll just say more to come soon and as always, take care and God bless!

Anxiety Sucks

Can we get real for a minute? I’mma get real for a minute.

I always said if I had something like this I’d keep it very down to earth and real about things that people deal with. Zero shaming. So I wanna get real for a minute about anxiety and I’ll start off by saying I have it. Pretty bad. But I have high functioning anxiety for the most part and am usually able to still get through daily life.

I was a little ball of anxious energy when I was working. Now that I’m not I’ve managed to come back to a little more of an even keel but instead of having the constant anxiety I was experiencing while working I’m now struggling with intense bouts of anxiety over Covid-19 and everything this means for me and the world. I can’t imagine I’m the only one feeling this way either. Because the world is very uncertain right now.

The world is sick right now. People are dying. Economies are tanking. It is impossible to speculate just what this could mean for the future but as impossible as it is to speculate, it seems even more impossible not to. The best experts say that hard economic times are ahead of us. But what exactly does that mean? And me without a job, does that mean I’ll even be able to get one after all this is over?

A little closer to home, I had to cancel my wedding and reception. We’re still going to get married, we’re just going to do it quietly but we need to find out if we can get a marriage license, and our pastor has potentially been contaminated and needs to be quarantined. My anxious mind can’t help but run over all of these things and view them as impossibilities. And then because why would anxiety only focus on one thing, it starts to wonder what would happen if one of us got sick. I want the right to be informed and I want Manny to have the right to be informed should either of us get sick.

There is no knowing about the future, not here in my own back yard or globally. But as Manny always tells me, we need to focus in on what we can change. Manny sent me this and it helped me tremendously so I’ll share it with you. Credits on the image.

I know I can’t be the only one struggling right now. If anxiety’s got you down, just remember God is in control. We will get through this. If we all focus on what we can do, we’ll get through this. And whatever comes after, we’ll get through that too. As always, friends, take care and God bless.